2017-04-27 / Editorial

Coming soon: a bountiful shed full of books

By Bob Cochran

I was just checking out a DVD at Libby Library when I heard the sound of someone typing, and cursing even more, frantically at one of the patron computers. I found, after a brief investigation, that the source of these sounds was none other than our own mascot, Libby Lobster. It appeared from his look of utter exhaustion and the mountains of paper that he had been putting in a marathon session at the keyboard. I asked him what was making him work so hard, and so long.

“First, I was able to invent the printing press in time to enter it in this summer’s Mini Maker Fair,” said he.

“I hate to break it to you, but the printing press has already been invented,” said I.

“Now you tell me. Anyway, I heard recently that Friends of Libby Library will be opening the Book Shed on May 9. I thought they’ll need books to fill it, so, in a typically helpful lobster fashion, I’m writing them. Then I’ll use the printing press to print and bind them,” said our crustacean.

“I’m sure the Friends appreciate the effort, but they already have a great selection of books covering a variety of genres from mystery to history, biography, science, literary classics and children’s books,” I explained.

“But do they have these?” he exclaimed.

I picked up some of his manuscripts and leafed through them.

“’Gardening Great Banks Style.’ Sure, these plants look OK to eat, but who’ll want to fill their backyard with 3,000 feet of seawater in order to grow them? What else do you have?”

“Just these masterpieces of biography,” as he shoved the manuscripts my way.

“’Hou-dinner, The Life and Tragic Death of a Famous Lobster Magician.’ Oh, and what is this one, ‘Highest Lobster in the World,’ about?” I inquired.

“No, it’s not about the lobster version of Timothy Leary. It’s about Lucretius, the only lobster that climbed Everest. He nearly made it to the top, when he was spotted by a yeti gourmand and was forced to flee. He tripped and began to roll. He hit a ramp-like snow bank and became airborne. He soon landed in an unusual, rectangular tray owned by a mountaineer who liked to keep his food separated on the plate. Lucretius and the food quickly froze in the thin, cold air.

The mountaineer covered his tray with foil and returned to Nepal. There he popped the frozen tray containing Lucretius, along with peas, cranberry sauce and something remotely resembling stuffing, all strictly separated, into the oven to thaw while he watched Uncle Milty on the TV. That’s why Lucretius is partially credited with the invention of the TV dinner.”

“You can say he was both an entry and entrĂ©e, in the annals of history. Oh, speaking of inventions, we should remind our readers that the deadline for entries for the Mini Maker Fair is Saturday, May 13. The fair, which will be held Saturday, Aug. 19, will give local crafters, designers and inventors a fun opportunity to display their handiwork and to demonstrate to others how it’s done. While we’re at it, Libby, tell the folks the hours for the Book Shed. I almost forgot completely about the Book Shed, The ol’ brain just isn’t what it used to be”

“Sure. The Book Shed will open Tuesday, May 9 and stay open through September. You can stop by the shed Tuesday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Saturday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., weather and manpower permitting. By the way, I invented a little brain saving safety device called the bicycle helmet.”

“That’s already been invented . . . and you can get a free one if you stop by the library on Saturday, May 6 from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. for our Save Your Brain event. There’ll be food, a bouncy house and raffles, too.”

“Bike helmets aren’t just a good idea, they’re the law.”

“Speaking of the law, Libby, we’re about to be pulled over by the Word Count Police. Let’s check out that Pinwheel Garden and remind me to tell the folks about your pinwheel adventure next month.”

Bob Cochran is a volunteer with Libby Memorial Library in Old Orchard Beach.

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