2018-08-16 / Editorial

End of summer at the library: Mysteries, muffins and more

By Bob Cochran

A few days ago I decided to make an escape from the oppressive heat by enjoying a good book in the air conditioned comfort of Libby Library’s Stress Free Zone. Once there, I was greeted by Libby Lobster, who was also also planning to spend some time basking in the cool library air.

“Hi Libby. It’s nice to get out of that heat for a while. I felt like I was boiling.”


“Sorry for using the ‘b’ word, Libby.”

“I’ll forgive you this time, but only if you help me with my latest book, which I’d like to sell at his year’s Friends of the Library’s Book, Bake and Yard Sale.”

“What’s this latest book of yours about?”

“It’s a spy novel based on the adventures of my late Uncle Laurynas, who was a true master of espionage and intrigue.”

“You had an uncle who was a spy? Fill us in on some of his adventures.”

“There was this one time he broke up an international spy ring by using his talent for disguise, and passion for statistical research. This spy ring was holding a major organizational meeting in Nice, France. It was at this meeting they were going to finalize their plans for the total destruction of the social order by systematically organizing everyone’s junk drawers. This fiendish gathering was to be cleverly disguised as a multinational food and wine tasting event.

Uncle Laurynas saw through the ruse at once, and planned to gain entry disguised as an entree.

He employed his formidable skills with statistical analysis, which led him to the conclusion that one most popular new flavor amongst foodies was maplebacon. It was settled. He would get into the meeting disguised as some sort of maple-bacon flavored food item. Unfortunately, he wasn’t wearing his new glasses when he was reviewing the contest entry forms, and ended up entering himself in the wine tasting contest instead of the donut contest as was his intent.”

“Libby, you mean to tell me that your uncle ended up going to that ‘food and wine tasting event’’ disguised as a bottle of maple-bacon wine?”

“You might not believe it, but the disguise actually worked. The spy ring disintgrated when its members got into a shooting war between those who thought who found the maple-bacon wine disgusting, and those who thought it was utterly revolting.”

“I won’t tell you what I think about that latest yarn of yours, other than it segues nicely into the actual subjects of this week’s column. First, you mentioned the Friend of the Library’s Book, Bake and Yard Sale. We’d like to remind everyone that this year’s sale is being held Friday, Aug. 17 and Saturday, Aug. 18. The hours are 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. both days. Thankfully, there won’t be any maple-bacon wine, but there will be tons (not literally) of yummy baked goods, along with plenty of games and puzzles. Of course, there’ll be books of all kinds, too. We have a great selection of mysteries, sci-fi, history, cookbooks and much, much more at very affordable prices. You definitely won’t be disappointed. Funds from this year’s sale will be used to make improvements to the Childrens Patio Area.”

“That’s not the only thing we have coming up tomorrow, Aug. 17, either!” Libby interjected. “We’re also going to be celebrating the success of this year’s Summer Reading Program with a fun for all ages grand finale event featuring Michael Menes’ Juggling Comedy Show. Festivities start at 12:30 p.m.”

“While we’re on the subject of the Summer Reading Program, Libby, I think that data mining wizard uncle of yours would be truly impressed by the this summer’s reading statistics. Sixty five children registered for the program, with 25 actively participating. As of Saturday, Aug. 4, this year’s participants have read 19,080 minutes toward the program goal of 25,000 minutes. That’s what I’d call some seriously impressive numbers that both the library and kids can be proud of.”

“That’s true, Libby. You know, before we go, we should remind everyone the library is open on Sundays from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. for the remainder of the summer season. So be sure to stop by to pick up that fun beach read, or a rainy weather DVD.”

“We should also let people know that state Sen. Justin Chenette will hold office hours here at the library 10:30 a.m. to noon Saturday, Sept. 8.”

“Also, starting in September is our most popular art class…”

“You mean Uncle Leksi’s ‘Learn Water Colors While Under Water?’”

“No. We’re still having trouble lining up live models for that one. We will have live models for the Portrait Sessions Class which will start up on Thursday, Sept. 13. We’ll have details on that and much more in our next column. You can always find out more about the goings on here at Libby Library by checking our website, ooblibrary.org or by following us on Facebook.”

Bob Cochran is a volunteer at Libby Memorial Library and jazz director at WMPG, Portland.

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